I’m Sick of Pizza

“Change your thoughts and you’ll change your world.” -Marcus Aurelius

I’ve got a confession:  Last Friday night instead of pizza, I ordered wings.

Yes, that’s right, Friday night—pizza night—the most sacred night of the week, I voluntarily opted for Buffalo Wild Wings over pizza.

Maybe, it’s time to put the crushed red pepper and parmesan shakers on the shelf and retire my trusty pizza cutter.

Deep down, I’m not craving pizza at all.  I’ve got only one thing on my mind:  Spicy, garlicky, wings.

Is it time to close the pizza box? 

After 33 years of eating pizza every Friday I feel I’m drifting away from it.  The cheese, sauce, and crust combo has gotten stale and I’m off into a new realm of Buffalo sauce doused in ranch.

Wings have always been the side item, never the star.

For years I’ve loved wings but they’ve always taken a backseat to pizza (literally, pizza takes shotgun). They were always left sweating it out in the takeout box as I’d snap pictures and whisper words of encouragement to my mozzarella covered model; like a photographer immersed in his shoot.

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Buffalo Wild Wings: Spicy Garlic.

Recently I was introduced to Spicy Garlic sauce at Buffalo Wild Wings and that transformative experience has left me craving them frequently—going there for lunch and getting them for mid-week dinners.  My urge for their garlicky greatness is becoming undeniable.

The sheen of their uneven shapes glistening with spicy garlic sauce tempts me like a dark red forbidden fruit. Each one pulling me further into a spiral of wing infatuation.

Turning a (menu) page. 

After that Friday night without pizza, I felt like a guardian angel had granted me a set of wings.  Those drummies and flats gave me a fresh perspective, a new path, a new passion to pursue.

Maybe it’s time to stop obsessing over pizza and expand my passion into other comfort foods, like wings.  There’s so much great junk food out there and I shouldn’t limit my explorations to the confines of pizza.

What pizza taught me:

There’s more to life than pizza and tomorrow’s April Fools Day so I’m completely joking. Syke!  I got slices from Rocky Rococo’s for dinner on Friday.  Pizza for life.  Wings can wait until Saturday.

What I’m eating:  Rocky Rococo’s sausage and pepperoni superslice

What I’m reading:  12 Rules for Life:  An Anecdote to Chaos Jordan Peterson

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The Yellow Pages: Section P

“Time moves in one direction, memory in another.” -William Gibson

Whenever I wind up in hotel rooms with the Wi-Fi wavering I try to find a phonebook (they still exist some places) and I go straight for the yellow pages to section P. 

Before instantaneous Google searches followed by Yelp or Instagram image confirmations, we had to rely on the yellow pages to plan our pizza eating in unfamiliar territory.  Back there you’d find the full page ads of all the local joints showcasing their menus and specials—a snapshot of what you’ve got to work with side by side.

The ancient book of the landlines. 

Last week we packed up the family for a vacation to New Smyrna Beach in Florida and as soon as we settled into our rented condo overlooking the ocean I couldn’t help but wonder:  What kind of pizza does this little beach town have?

I knew it wouldn’t be long before a pizza craving would strike, so after a long day of travel, with my electronics dying and our Wi-Fi sparse, I began to search for some stashed away coupon catalogs or a stack of menus left behind by the owners.

On an end-table covered in brochures for local attractions—next to the landline phone, I found my New Smyrna guide book.  My instincts guided me as I picked up the paperback artifact, dusted it off like Indiana Jones and slowly thumbed to the yellowish section of its back pages.

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The pizza of New Smyrna Beach. 

My first step in section P was to do a quick scan for any food-porn worthy imagery—though I didn’t expect to find any high-quality images printed back there, I couldn’t even find anything besides run-of-the-mill staged stock pizza photos.  Not a good start.

Next, it was time to get into the details of what each menu had to offer, I began searching for clues to what might make one place better than another.  I combed the details of thin and thick crust options, specialty pizzas and appetizers.

I weighed the options between New York style slice shops, Italian Restaurants and dive pizzerias.  After a lot of internal back and forth and more pizza hypothesizing than Tess cared to hear I had made a decision.

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Manny’s Pizza Beachside.

The first place I opted for was called Manny’s Pizza Beachside.  I figured might as well stick with the vacation “beach vibe” and it was backed by the recommendation of the front desk employee who mentioned they also do a killer breakfast.

I went for a half pepperoni and half deluxe which included pepperoni, sausage, mushrooms, green peppers, and onions.  The crust was the most noteworthy element as it was uniquely reminiscent of focaccia bread.  The pizza portion was thin but the crust rolled up into a hand-tossed handle at the edge that was really good for a dip in some ranch.

The veggies had a nice rough cut and the sausage was sliced in thin medallions.  It wasn’t the best pizza I’ve ever had, but the toppings, sauce, and cheese were flavorful and executed properly (it’s vacation pizza so it can do no wrong).

Visiting the past.

Flipping through the phone book to find Manny’s reminded me of going through catalogs before Christmas as a kid and circling all the things I hoped to get.  Just like vinyl records, cassettes, VHS’s and early Nintendo games, scouring the yellow pages revived a dorky nostalgia within me that was fun to embrace.

With everything we need right in our smartphones, I imagine it won’t be long before the old paper phonebook will be a thing of the past—an item that will stump the kids of the future like 8-tracks or rotary phones.

What pizza taught me:

With technology increasingly integrated into our lives, it’s nice to disconnect and spend time with some of the remnants of our modern age. In New Symrna Beach that old-school method of researching pizzas was almost more fun than the pizza itself.  

What I’m eating:  Manny’s Pizza Beachside half pepperoni and half deluxe

What I’m reading: I Love Capitalism Ken Langone

 

 

Pizza Hacks

“Don’t settle with good, fight for great”-Jim Collins

I’m fascinated with life hacks: health hacks, home improvement hacks and of course pizza hacks.  

Pizza is arguably one of the universe’s greatest gifts so why would something so inherently awesome even need to be hacked?

The millennial in me wants all pizzas to have participation trophies, but the truth is that all pizzas are not created equal.  Therefore, the idea that one slight tweak could optimize a pizza eating experience has got my attention.

Finding an edge. 

Some hacks are as easy as extra cheese, but most are not so obvious.  It could take years to stumble upon a decent hack through trial and error, so instead of finding out the hard way, I’m pooling together some of the pizza hacks I’ve discovered right in my area.

Below I’ve listed some of my tricks of the trade, but I hope to take away more than I share by writing this.  I want to open a conversation on what can take already awesome pizzas to the next level.

Top Six Madison Area Pizza Hacks 2019

Rosati’s- Super Thin

This Chicago chain has a worthy deep-dish and pan, but they go the other way with thin-crust too—not many people know this but they actually have a “super” thin-crust option. They take their normal thin and give it an extra squeeze through the dough rolling machine.  Try ordering super thin with extra cheese and you are in for a Midwestern tavern style treat that can get you through the lonely nights when your missing Gus’s in Whitewater.

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Rosati’s Super Thin

Ian’s Pizza-Par-Bake

If you get slices to go, stop that quick-handed pizza-tender and have him skip the oven and go for a takeout box.  By taking your pizza home par-baked you set yourself up for a huge win later.  Preheat to 450 at home, keep a close eye and you’ll get a perfect melt and char on those slices that are just as good or better than the restaurant.

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Papa Murphy’s-Get it four ways

No more half and half limitations, Papa Murphy’s will let you dial in your topping choices four different ways on a single pizza. If you want a slice of plain cheese, Hawaiin, sausage & mushroom, and green olive you can now get them all nicely divided up in quarters—it’s great for the whole family.

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Sugar River Pizza-Skip the crust

If you’re sticking to a low carb or keto diet Sugar River Pizza Co. in Verona has got you covered—they’ve got a pizza bowl.  Take any of your favorite toppings and they’ll throw em in a bowl, smother them with cheese and serve it up with sides of sauce.  The best of pizza without the carb-heavy crust.

Toppers Pizza-Subbing Sauces

One of my all-time favorite switcharoos is swapping BBQ sauce for pizza sauce on the Meat Topper at Toppers, try it and you will forever bow down to its sweet, savory, salty, smokey awesomeness.  Also, step up your red sauce dipping game by giving the infamous Topperstix a spin with a side of pizza sauce (the sauce they put on pizzas) instead of the default marinara.

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Toppers Meat Topper with BBQ sauce

AJ’s Pizza-Get it thinner.

I’ve noticed that places that hand toss their own dough often stretch larges pizzas thinner.  I’ve found this to be especially true at AJ’s pizza in Verona, so I always opt for a large over medium.  I’m a thin-crust lover through and through so I’ll take whatever advantage I can to get my thins as thin as possible.

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Aj’s  Pizza in Verona

Simple adjustments can take our favorite pizzas from good to great.

Ordering a pizza straight off the menu is a lot like living the status quo—it’s easy—but it can be dangerous as we don’t realize what we’re missing out on—things can also get awfully mundane.

Jim Collins in his book Good to Great says “Good is the enemy of great.””Few people attain great lives, in large part because it is just so easy to settle for a good life.”

What pizza taught me:

There are many paths to achieving success, some are quicker than others. With the right mindset, we can not only push our pizzas from good to great but everything else in our lives as well.

What I’m eating: Scraping the toppings off a Pep’s supreme pizza.  The equivalent of my own pizza bowl (low carb hack to work on my spring break beach bod).

What I’m reading: Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success Adam Grant.

Cover photo cred: low carb-pizza-thm-s-pizza-bowl-keto, My Montana Kitchen, October 27 2016 Sarah Hardy

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